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Courtesy. It’s a word synonymous with good-manners. It’s a virtue we want our fellow humans to bestow upon us. It makes us feel good to be courteous and receive courtesy. Well, sometimes.
There is a point where courtesy sours. Like milk. Sure, it once was a delicious treat served fresh and ice-cold with a few warm chocolate-chip cookies. But that same milk can turn rancid past its sell-by-date.
Stop It!
Everything has a shelf life and courtesy is no exception. Take for instance the 4-way intersection. Sure, the rules of the road clearly state, “after a full-stop has been made, vehicles usually have the right-of-way to proceed through the intersection in the order that they arrived at the intersection. If vehicles arrive at approximately the same time, each driver must yield to the drivers on their right.” You hear that Ms. Waive-everyone-through-because-its-what Jesus-would-do? Of course, maybe the person waiving you through is from South Africa. South Africa drivers must use common sense and make eye contact and gestures. We could never have that law in the USA. The words “common,” and “sense,” would not be understood by our lawmakers and would be omitted. So there I am, sitting at the stop sign. “no you go. Okay, I’ll go. Wait. Nope. Ummm. You? Me? You? Fuck. “
The Doors.
Theodore Roosevelt said courtesy is only a thin veneer on the general selfishness. Do you ever find yourself jogging across a cross-walk because the bloke in the car gave you a brake? Sure, I understand that. Dual courtesy. Courteous driver lets you cross. You pick up a little jog to show you appreciation. Got it. Apply this situation to a person holding a door open. When you are approaching a door and the person in front of you holds it open, you may be inclined to pick up a “courtesy jog” to show your appreciation. Unfortunately, this only encourages the overly-kind. How far is too far? If I am a football-field away, please do not stand there like my personal doorman. If you do, be advised, I will walk the entire distance. Probably at a slower pace just to piss you off. I may stop to tie my shoelace that is clearly already tied. Sure, you will give me that look of indignation. I will probably mutter, “you freakin idiot,” under my breath. Wishing I could set you on fire with the power of my thoughts.
Massive Passive
Not participating readily or actively; inactive. Normally I welcome passivity. Keeps me in control and, let’s face it, you want me in control. All the time? No. Why do folks assume being passive on everything translates to being courteous?
Me: “Hey Bob, do where do you want to go for lunch?”
Bob: “Up to you. I am fine with whatever.”
Me: “…..Chiles?”
Bob: “Chilies gives me gas, anywhere else is good.”
Me: “….Olive Garden (you can tell this is fictional because no way in hell I would recommend we go to Olive Garden)
Bob: “Nah. Anything else is fine though.”
Me: “….I got a tell ya Bob. I want to whack you over the head and eat your tiny brain…”
Bob: “You’re fired.”
Story of my life.
Be warned, if you come to my house and I ask you if you would like something to drink. Do not say, “Whatever is fine.” You will surely get a warm glass of piss.
Being courteous is fine. I encourage it (for other people). Use it judiciously. Take the chocolate-covered jalapeño. Sure it tastes sweet. Until you get to the fiery hell underneath that makes you want to rip your face off. That, to me, is like courtesy.
There is a point where courtesy sours. Like milk. Sure, it once was a delicious treat served fresh and ice-cold with a few warm chocolate-chip cookies. But that same milk can turn rancid past its sell-by-date.
Stop It!
Everything has a shelf life and courtesy is no exception. Take for instance the 4-way intersection. Sure, the rules of the road clearly state, “after a full-stop has been made, vehicles usually have the right-of-way to proceed through the intersection in the order that they arrived at the intersection. If vehicles arrive at approximately the same time, each driver must yield to the drivers on their right.” You hear that Ms. Waive-everyone-through-because-its-what Jesus-would-do? Of course, maybe the person waiving you through is from South Africa. South Africa drivers must use common sense and make eye contact and gestures. We could never have that law in the USA. The words “common,” and “sense,” would not be understood by our lawmakers and would be omitted. So there I am, sitting at the stop sign. “no you go. Okay, I’ll go. Wait. Nope. Ummm. You? Me? You? Fuck. “
The Doors.
Theodore Roosevelt said courtesy is only a thin veneer on the general selfishness. Do you ever find yourself jogging across a cross-walk because the bloke in the car gave you a brake? Sure, I understand that. Dual courtesy. Courteous driver lets you cross. You pick up a little jog to show you appreciation. Got it. Apply this situation to a person holding a door open. When you are approaching a door and the person in front of you holds it open, you may be inclined to pick up a “courtesy jog” to show your appreciation. Unfortunately, this only encourages the overly-kind. How far is too far? If I am a football-field away, please do not stand there like my personal doorman. If you do, be advised, I will walk the entire distance. Probably at a slower pace just to piss you off. I may stop to tie my shoelace that is clearly already tied. Sure, you will give me that look of indignation. I will probably mutter, “you freakin idiot,” under my breath. Wishing I could set you on fire with the power of my thoughts.
Massive Passive
Not participating readily or actively; inactive. Normally I welcome passivity. Keeps me in control and, let’s face it, you want me in control. All the time? No. Why do folks assume being passive on everything translates to being courteous?
Me: “Hey Bob, do where do you want to go for lunch?”
Bob: “Up to you. I am fine with whatever.”
Me: “…..Chiles?”
Bob: “Chilies gives me gas, anywhere else is good.”
Me: “….Olive Garden (you can tell this is fictional because no way in hell I would recommend we go to Olive Garden)
Bob: “Nah. Anything else is fine though.”
Me: “….I got a tell ya Bob. I want to whack you over the head and eat your tiny brain…”
Bob: “You’re fired.”
Story of my life.
Be warned, if you come to my house and I ask you if you would like something to drink. Do not say, “Whatever is fine.” You will surely get a warm glass of piss.
Being courteous is fine. I encourage it (for other people). Use it judiciously. Take the chocolate-covered jalapeño. Sure it tastes sweet. Until you get to the fiery hell underneath that makes you want to rip your face off. That, to me, is like courtesy.